Tuesday, December 17, 2013

He made it! Now what?

Chuck is so far away. The only time we've been farther apart was when I went to a conference in Boston. It is a very strange feeling when I pause and recollect the physical distance between us. I was weepy and sad for several hours on Saturday after his departure, and if I let myself I can easily still become pouty.  The distraction of busy work has helped ease this feeling. Talking to my sweet children has helped, along with the comfort of well meaning friends and family. I've had many offers of company and invitations out.

It is rather strange, however, that when I think of where I want to be; it is in my home where Chuck lives. I don't really want to go out or leave to visit or even have people come over right now. I think a bit more time will make that more appealing. I can be alone, but I prefer to be alone with him.

Ok, emotion. BRB.

We spoke last night as he was moving into his more than adequate company apartment. It was comforting to me to hear that it is warm and stocked with all the necessaries (food he has to provide himself.) While we were talking I put him on speaker phone to see what the dogs would do at the sound of his voice. It was interesting. They perked up at his calling their names and came over by me to listen. Then they both ran to the front door - and then up on the couch to look out the window. They were expecting his appearance. It was sweet and melancholy. I know they both realize something is different. Even my uninterested cat seems to sense something out of the ordinary though she merely tolerates us.

Before he left Chuck taught me how to use his 12 gauge shotgun. I can now most efficiently load and cock it and should an unwanted intruder come in they should beware because I will be able to stop them with a scattering blast of shot!!  It is a very empowering feeling, though not politically correct.

(Shoulder shrug here.)

I am steadfast in my support and so very proud of my wonderful husband.


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